I'm A Silly Mami: I Am NOT Peg Bundy!   

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I Am NOT Peg Bundy!

See this chick here on the couch putting her feet up and reading a magazine? That is NOT me! I am NOT Peg F*ck*g Bundy!

Just because I am a Stay at home mom doesn’t mean that I don’t do jack sh*t all day. I don’t get it. I work just as hard, even harder sometimes – yes I said it,  than anyone who is actually out there in the work force AND getting paid. My job is 24/7. I don’t get vacation time, I don’t get a paycheck, personal time or sick time. That certainly didn’t happen last week when I was sick and my head was feeling like it was going to explode.

I feel like I have to defend myself all the time because I stay home with my daughter. So a few weeks ago I was at my older sisters house for my nephews birthday. I was telling them, well bragging to them about how much I save with my coupons and talking about my stock pile and my younger sister tells me I should be helping her out and giving her some of my stuff. My sister is a single mom with a teenager and a 3 year old and a deadbeat baby daddy so it’s all on her. I’ve always helped them when I could and always will but don’t tell me I should be giving you stuff just because I have a damn good supply of it. She thinks that we should give her things because she’s a single mom. She doesn’t want to work for it. I’m doing what I can to save my family money especially now that I’m not working. Occasionally I will tell her about the huge savings I’ve done during one of my trips like a few weeks ago I saved $114 off my grocery bill. I keep telling her that she should be using coupons and do you know what she tells me – “I don’t have time for that sh*t, you don’t work, you have all the time so you can clip coupons.” And so it got ugly from there. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this from her and I’ve put up with it but I’d just about had it. It was like she lite a bonfire up my ass cuz I went off. I’m one to speak my mind and don’t care who I piss off, family or not. I will tell you that I held my tongue on the cussing because my daughter was there.

My daughter is going to be 2 next month and as many as you all know, toddlers have this amazing non-stop energy. My daughter is down to one nap a day which last less than 2 hours and most nights she still gets up at least once a night. I don’t watch TV all day, I don’t sit in front of my computer all damn day, I’m always behind on my twitter feed and I don’t get to blog or get on emails until she goes to bed which means most nights I’m usually up late trying to catch up. I am out with my daughter on play dates, running errands, her activities and when I’m home I’m trying to clean house, take care of 3 dogs which one is somewhat of a special needs right now, make dinner and still play with my daughter. My husband travels a lot for work so for the most part I AM a single Mami. I know how hard it is and I give kuddos to the single moms out there.

Today one of my neighbors daughter came over with her 1 year old daughter. She just moved back up from NC. We’ve been in our house for 9 years and never really spoken to the girls. They were in college or whatever but it was just mostly the occasional hey how’s it going until she had her kid and she was up visiting. So chickie wants to know if I would watch her kid two days a week while she works – cuz you know I’m home all day with my daughter and all. So again I’m like really WTF! AND she wouldn’t be able to pay me cuz you know she ain’t got no money and it would only be until she got help from the state so she can get her daughter into daycare since she ain’t got no money to pay for daycare. So let me get this sh*t straight, I’m gonna watch your kid two days a week, get stuck in my house cuz I won’t be able to go any place since I’ll have your rugrat to deal with, run my ass into exhaustion even more than I already do to do you a favor and for no pay all because I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM! But remember, its only temporary. Are you f*ck*g kidding me.

Listen, I have no problem helping anyone out. I would love to have her over and play with Buggy but you know what’s gonna happen. She is ain’t (I know aint aint a word but me don’t care!) so you know she ain;t gonna find daycare she can afford just like that and it’s going to take some time for her to get state vouchers for daycare and I’m going to get stuck in my house watching her kid. I want to be able to come and go when I want.

I’m just really sick and tired of hearing “well if you can afford to stay home good for you”. Yes bitch I can afford to stay home, its not always easy, I’ve made sacrifices, I also had to wait 5 years, FIVE years to have this baby, I suffered a stroke when I had to go through IVF, I had an ectopic and had to close the hole in my heart before I could have this baby. We prepared financially as well as we could so that I can stay home with our daughter. So damn it I’ve earned every right to be able to stay home with my daughter! You don’t know my situation so please bitch shut the hell up. I hate it when people say that.  I’m sick and tired of people thinking just because I am home that I do nothing all day and have time to be there for them and yet no one is ever there when I damn well need them.

Anyhow, I told chickie that I cannot commit to the two days but I can occasionally help out if she needs its but I know if I commit I’m gonna get screwed. Hubby doesn’t think I should do it. I did tell her that I would help her out next week but I think I’m just going to do Tuesday. She knows I have a lot on my plate but she’s thinking of herself so I need to think of me – for once!

What do you guys think? What would you do?

9 comments:

  1. Whew!  I hope you feel better now!  :-)  Damn straight you work hard.  Being a SAHM is far harder for me than working ever was.  I'm sorry to read that your sister isn't as understanding as you want her to be.  From what you write, it sounds as thought she might have too much happening in her life to take a step back and appreciate what's going on in your world. 

    Regarding your neighbor, do what feels right for you.  It might actually be easier to watch another child once in a while because the two of them can entertain each other.  Good luck!

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  2. I hope the venting helped!!! I can only imagine your frustrations!!!  My mom was a SAHM and I KNOW she didn't have a easy life of doing nothing, she was more busy then most every person I know who goes to an office during the day!!!  

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  3. I don't blame you a bit for how you feel. I haven't heard any of that crap yet, but I'm a SAHM because I'm sick, so maybe I'm going to be spared all the bullshit you have to listen to.

    I would not commit to watching your neighbor's kid. You're not getting paid and it will be an inconvenience. If you give in and do it, you'll just resent every single second of it (that's my bet, anyway).

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  4. Loved this post. thanks for stopping by my blog www.powered-by-mom.com, hope you got to see that your blog is one of the highlighted ones on my community page. I've been working f/t since my daughter was just over 1 and as of this year June 2011 am now at home. I'm hoping I"ll be working at home from here on in but we'll see what 2012 brings. I bring this up because at first I thought great I'm at home now I'll have so much more time to get all those things done that I didn't have before to do. Wrong, I'm even busier now but the good thing is I"m busier picking my daughter up from school, giving her the opportunity to have friends over after school, bugging her about her homework, doing activities together, writing on a blog which I love and checking out other blogs, better nutrition planning and so much more. SAHMS are definitely busy, sometimes busier than f/t working moms and I can attest to that!

    To your question above it sounds a bit like they are trying to take advantage of you and definitely don't realize the work and time you have to put in to things and the energy a 2 year old takes. Taken on another child even 2 days week I agree is a lot and she's not compensating you hmm I'd hesitate to commit to it on a regular basis but it sounds like you know what will and won't work. Good luck to you and good for you for speaking out!

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  5. Hi Christina,

    I hope you don't get those stupid comments I get- heard it again today- unbelievable! I'm def not going to do it. I'm def not going to do it. I know I would totally resent it if I did.

    thanks for your feedback.

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  6. I was still fuming for a few days - just the nerve and I heard today from another neighbor that I WAS doing it -umm I never agreed and def not gonna do it now. 

    thanks for your feedback.

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  7. I wouldn't mind watching the little one but I know it will be more than what she is telling me and I'll probably get screwed some how

    thanks for your feedback.

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  8. Love the post and AMEN sista I am also a SAHM to a Speedy Gonzalez 2 year old and people think I stay home all day ad scratch my ass....with activities {to keep you sane during the day}, errands, 2 dogs, cleaning and a shit load of laundry there is not time to sit down. Do not commit because it sounds like they are trying to take advantage and once you get sucked into that hole you will be watching the kid 5 days a week. Which you can.... like do because all you do all day is eat bon bons right?...lol

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  9. I feel ya! By the end of the day I'm so exhausted, people don't think about how much work It actually is bc you see what's on tv.

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