I used to hear those words a lot growing up even from my own mom and I just don’t get them. I’ve heard them at the store and many other places as well when the kids are crying and the stressed out moms are telling them to be quiet. The other night as Buggy finished her bath she was all whiny and crying. I knew she was tired but this whiny thing is sort of a ritual with her these days. I try to make her laugh to distract her so we laugh a bit and then we cry and this goes on while I’m putting her pajama’s on. When she’s crying I would ask her why she was crying, trying to figure out what was going on but I knew they weren’t real cries but at that moment I remembered those words I’ve heard so many times “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”.
What that means to me is that you want your child to stop crying but you are going to spank, hit, slap, punish –whatever term you want to use – to make them stop. Wouldn’t that just make the child cry even more, oh but now they have a reason to cry, ok duh, I get it. Umm, no, not really but obviously there must have been a reason before if they were crying to begin with.
As I thought of those words I just looked at my daughter and could never imagine hitting her or punishing her to make her stop crying. The thought of that happening made me sad. I thought of when my mom had said it to me and how it made me feel and I hugged Buggy and kissed her even more. Perhaps some moms say it just to make the kids stop crying although I have seen some actually follow through and my heart just goes out to the child.
I can’t say that I have seen anything like this recently. Maybe it was more the older generation. Tell me though, are these words that you have heard from your parents when you were younger?
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I did hear them. I have even heard my father-in-law say to my daughter (2) You have nothing to be whining about. Well, yes she does. She is tired and wants to go to bed and Daddy is not listening to the clues that we need to go home. I think of them when I cannot figure out what is going on, just like you. I try to figure it out and I realize although my 2 year old seems so smart she can't really tell me what is going on. So I pick her up, give her hug and a kiss - and most times this is happening while she is waiting for dinner so I have started to give her a snack to help prevent these meltdowns.
ReplyDeleteLOL, this is funny as I use to hear it all the time and hated it. But the funny thing is I hear myself say it every now and than to my 4yr old since she has gotten into the mouthy I'm not going to listen stage. But I have never had any of the adults say it since I've gotten older, I think they just like their grandkids more and are more patient lol. from vb
ReplyDeleteI never understood when my parents said stuff like that and I am working hard not to say them.
ReplyDeleteI too couldn't bear to lift a finger at my daughter. When she cries, my heart breaks. Yes, hurting our kids will only make them cry more. We should try to focus instead on the reason for crying.
ReplyDeleteOh, I've definitely heard those words before...it was never something I wanted to hear, too.
ReplyDeleteMy mom or dad never said anything like this, but I did get spanked as a child. I feel like a spanking every once in a while is not a big deal. My daughter is only 4 months old so my thoughts my change by the time she reaches this stage!
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing as I read this. I think I heard that from my mom ALL during my growing up. I don't say it to my children, but I have picked up a few sayings I heard as a kid like, "Money doesn't grow on trees." LOL! Great post.
ReplyDeleteDid hear it... have said it...but I say it with the tone of silliness. I foumd that got my kids to stop...unless there was a HUGE reason for thr tears... then my tone changes into...tell mama whats wrong...
ReplyDeleteNo, I never heard this one, but my parents were good at making us feel responsible to behave appropriately, and that it was about being proud of yourself and having self respect(this came as we got older of course). We did always know though, that if we acted up, there would be a consequence. With 7 of us, my parents had to have control somehow;) A little pat/spanking in public for girls is the most embarrassing thing ever, at least for me it was. My Mom only had to do that once, and that did the trick.
ReplyDeleteIf guys took a moment to think about it they would get a clue. hubby does the same thing. thinks that they whine just for no reason. most of the time its hunger or tired
ReplyDeleteI hated it too when my mom used to say but I say it more to myself because I'm curious what my mom was going through - feeling/situations, etc when she said. I still won't say it to Buggy though
ReplyDeleteNo kidding. I try not to say things my mom used to say because I hated it when she did it to me
ReplyDeleteI hate hearing my little one cry or any baby for that matter. just breaks my heart
ReplyDeleteI got spanked too and I thought one here and there isn't so bad but I can't do it. Buggy just turned two and when she was younger I would tap her hand when she threw her cup on the floor. that just taught her to hit so I don't do that anymore-just didn't make sense. She is now in the hitting stage when she is mad at me and I just tell her that hitting is not nice and we don't do that then she will hug me. hitting her for hitting me just doesn't make sense.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I've said a few things like that too and then I was like oh, gawd, I sound like my mother and then I repeat, I am not my mother, i am not my mother-LOL!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. public humiliation is the worst!
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